Finding new love can be a daunting dream. You want to fall in love but the way your last relationship ended hurt and the fear of that happening again haunts you. It feels much safer to stay alone or believe that love will find you if it’s meant to. But the question is? would you be ready if the right opportunity suddenly stared you in the face? Ready to receive and to give and hold and accept the good with the bad? Most of us are not, which causes us to run or make a bad choice because we are afraid we will be alone if we pass it up. So, start preparing your heart before Mr. or Ms. Wonderful show up. Here are 9 ways to do that. Read more after the cut...
1. Get serious by writing it down.
Find yourself a beautiful journal. Start by
writing your favorite love poem into the
front. When you are done, put your hand over
your heart and feel it beating. Forget you are
afraid. Forget you think it won’t happen. Go
behind the beating and feel what your
reaction to the poem is. Write down
everything that your heart says it wants to
hear from someone someday. You don’t have
to tell anyone — it’s just for you alone.
Find yourself a beautiful journal. Start by
writing your favorite love poem into the
front. When you are done, put your hand over
your heart and feel it beating. Forget you are
afraid. Forget you think it won’t happen. Go
behind the beating and feel what your
reaction to the poem is. Write down
everything that your heart says it wants to
hear from someone someday. You don’t have
to tell anyone — it’s just for you alone.
2. Learn to listen with your heart.
Ask a friend to go out for dinner to a special
restaurant you have been wanting to go
to. While you are with her (or him), practice
listening for their heart. This will begin to
train you for how to listen on a date. Pretend
there is a bridge running from your heart to
hers or his. Walk across it, leaving your own
thoughts behind and just be in their thoughts
while you are with them.
Listen for phrases like, “I wish…”, “Sometimes
it seems that…,” “I love it when….” Ask
questions so that they share something that
they might not talk about often. Smile at them
and if you don’t know how to respond, just
acknowledge how that must make them feel,
such as, “That must have been really hard for
you….” Do your best to keep the focus on
them out of caring and interest. Talk about
yourself a little less than usual.
Ask a friend to go out for dinner to a special
restaurant you have been wanting to go
to. While you are with her (or him), practice
listening for their heart. This will begin to
train you for how to listen on a date. Pretend
there is a bridge running from your heart to
hers or his. Walk across it, leaving your own
thoughts behind and just be in their thoughts
while you are with them.
Listen for phrases like, “I wish…”, “Sometimes
it seems that…,” “I love it when….” Ask
questions so that they share something that
they might not talk about often. Smile at them
and if you don’t know how to respond, just
acknowledge how that must make them feel,
such as, “That must have been really hard for
you….” Do your best to keep the focus on
them out of caring and interest. Talk about
yourself a little less than usual.
3. Watch a romantic movie and observe what
it is your heart longs for in love.
Yes, this can apply to guys too. Instead of
feeling sad about being alone or not having
the love you want, go into your heart by
placing your hand gently over it to feel it
beat. Go beneath the beating to the feelings
inside it. Ask yourself: What qualities do I
want that the guy or girl in this movie had?
What attracted me to the man or lady in this
story? Or if not the qualities, what did they
say or do that made my heart wish? Do I want
those qualities in someone I would like to
have love me? Do I want to hear those words,
have that feeling, be able to open my heart
like that?
Use the movie to teach you, to train your heart
to know what it wants. Write your thoughts
and your lists into your journal for
safekeeping. This is just for you and your
heart to know.
it is your heart longs for in love.
Yes, this can apply to guys too. Instead of
feeling sad about being alone or not having
the love you want, go into your heart by
placing your hand gently over it to feel it
beat. Go beneath the beating to the feelings
inside it. Ask yourself: What qualities do I
want that the guy or girl in this movie had?
What attracted me to the man or lady in this
story? Or if not the qualities, what did they
say or do that made my heart wish? Do I want
those qualities in someone I would like to
have love me? Do I want to hear those words,
have that feeling, be able to open my heart
like that?
Use the movie to teach you, to train your heart
to know what it wants. Write your thoughts
and your lists into your journal for
safekeeping. This is just for you and your
heart to know.
4. Tie your deepest dreams to something you
see everyday.
Decide that this next year is going to be
different, that you are going to find every
reason you can to believe in yourself, if it
takes you until 2016 or infinity and beyond…
that you are going to find love again.
Find a symbol that represents that
commitment — something that you can keep
out all year where you will see it everyday for
the next year — to remind yourself. I used to
carry a rock in my pocket that said “Believe”
on it. I also bought myself figurines that I
placed all over my house representing strong
qualities I wanted. Don’t feel the need to tell
anyone; it’s just yours to know, to believe in.
Use it to convince yourself: “I am going to
learn to love and appreciate who I am.”
see everyday.
Decide that this next year is going to be
different, that you are going to find every
reason you can to believe in yourself, if it
takes you until 2016 or infinity and beyond…
that you are going to find love again.
Find a symbol that represents that
commitment — something that you can keep
out all year where you will see it everyday for
the next year — to remind yourself. I used to
carry a rock in my pocket that said “Believe”
on it. I also bought myself figurines that I
placed all over my house representing strong
qualities I wanted. Don’t feel the need to tell
anyone; it’s just yours to know, to believe in.
Use it to convince yourself: “I am going to
learn to love and appreciate who I am.”
5. Teach yourself to give without expecting
anything in return.
There are so many ways to give. Did you know
that, if you step outside yourself for a few
moments, and give something to someone
without expecting anything back, it will
skyrocket your serotonin (the feel good
hormone in your brain)? You will be left with a
sense of fulfilment that creates a deep
contentment. Walk yourself to the store and
buy several pairs of socks to donate to the
local shelter, bake a batch of cookies and take
it to someone lonely, volunteer at the soup
kitchen… do something, no matter how small,
to make someone else feel good.
Be a Secret Santa, even if it isn’t Christmas.
And expect nothing — not a thank you, not a
smile, not anything. Just give to give. This,
too, is practice for loving someone special in
your life. There are many times when true love
is giving “just because” without expecting
anything back. You will need that skill. Giving
without expectation builds your heart to meet
a need that we all have, whether you know it
or not Have fun and let your creativity flow!
anything in return.
There are so many ways to give. Did you know
that, if you step outside yourself for a few
moments, and give something to someone
without expecting anything back, it will
skyrocket your serotonin (the feel good
hormone in your brain)? You will be left with a
sense of fulfilment that creates a deep
contentment. Walk yourself to the store and
buy several pairs of socks to donate to the
local shelter, bake a batch of cookies and take
it to someone lonely, volunteer at the soup
kitchen… do something, no matter how small,
to make someone else feel good.
Be a Secret Santa, even if it isn’t Christmas.
And expect nothing — not a thank you, not a
smile, not anything. Just give to give. This,
too, is practice for loving someone special in
your life. There are many times when true love
is giving “just because” without expecting
anything back. You will need that skill. Giving
without expectation builds your heart to meet
a need that we all have, whether you know it
or not Have fun and let your creativity flow!
6. Ramp up your attraction factor — do
something to make you feel better about
yourself.
Do you know what a man finds s*xiest on a
woman? It’s her smile. A sincere smile from a
contented heart causes you glow without you
even knowing. Do you know what the main
qualities are that attract a woman to a man?
Being strong and tender all at the same time.
A woman’s smile and a man’s true strength
radiate from a confident heart. So what is
something that would assist you in building
your confidence? Picking up an old dream and
signing up for a class? Learning something
new? Planning to do something on your own
that you had hoped to do with your partner?
Start with simple ways – for example, for
most women, feeling pretty is part of
that. Book yourself a manicure, a pedicure, go
for a new hairstyle, buy yourself something
colorful (great sales on this time of year) — do
something that makes you feel just a little
prettier. For a man, a haircut does help a lot.
Perhaps renewing that gym membership and
starting to work with a trainer to begin
building up some of that great muscle would
be the ticket. You know yourself, and your
heart needs to know you are still alive. That
you are not only alive, but gorgeous and
gifted and lit up when your heart is invested in
becoming all you can be. You are a long way
from being knocked out of the game, baby!
So start moving forward — progress, not
perfection, is happiness.
something to make you feel better about
yourself.
Do you know what a man finds s*xiest on a
woman? It’s her smile. A sincere smile from a
contented heart causes you glow without you
even knowing. Do you know what the main
qualities are that attract a woman to a man?
Being strong and tender all at the same time.
A woman’s smile and a man’s true strength
radiate from a confident heart. So what is
something that would assist you in building
your confidence? Picking up an old dream and
signing up for a class? Learning something
new? Planning to do something on your own
that you had hoped to do with your partner?
Start with simple ways – for example, for
most women, feeling pretty is part of
that. Book yourself a manicure, a pedicure, go
for a new hairstyle, buy yourself something
colorful (great sales on this time of year) — do
something that makes you feel just a little
prettier. For a man, a haircut does help a lot.
Perhaps renewing that gym membership and
starting to work with a trainer to begin
building up some of that great muscle would
be the ticket. You know yourself, and your
heart needs to know you are still alive. That
you are not only alive, but gorgeous and
gifted and lit up when your heart is invested in
becoming all you can be. You are a long way
from being knocked out of the game, baby!
So start moving forward — progress, not
perfection, is happiness.
7. Transform your bedroom into an inviting
boudoir.
Many of us don’t think about whether
someone special would fit into our
bedrooms. Take the time to consider how you
would like to change some things in your
“inner sanctum” that would remind you that
love is welcome here: get rid of stuffed
animals, dirty laundry spilling out everywhere,
or anything that is cluttered and worn. Right
now it’s yours, yes, but someday it may be
yours and his or hers. It’s fun to dream but
it’s even more fun to take action. Pretty up
your bedroom by adding some color, perhaps
a new comforter, and complimentary
curtains… maybe buy some candles.
boudoir.
Many of us don’t think about whether
someone special would fit into our
bedrooms. Take the time to consider how you
would like to change some things in your
“inner sanctum” that would remind you that
love is welcome here: get rid of stuffed
animals, dirty laundry spilling out everywhere,
or anything that is cluttered and worn. Right
now it’s yours, yes, but someday it may be
yours and his or hers. It’s fun to dream but
it’s even more fun to take action. Pretty up
your bedroom by adding some color, perhaps
a new comforter, and complimentary
curtains… maybe buy some candles.
8. Plan your focus: what will you think about,
talk about, work for?
Time to make a plan. Remember, if you don’t
write it down, chances are it won’t
happen. Decide specifically how you are going
to spend your time when you are not working
or caring for family. You owe this to yourself.
Your heart needs a break from its sadness.
What will you think about? What will you
focus on? It’s okay to give yourself a little
time to grieve what was and how you wish it
were. Sometime when you are alone, write
those feelings down in your journal or express
them in some other creative way original to
you like writing a song, painting, or
composing a poem. Then close your book or
purposely set your project aside.
Go from there, determined to focus on one
moment at a time today, every day.
If you are with family, observe what it is that
you really do love about them. If you are with
friends, do the same. Be there entirely in the
present — not in the past, not in the
future. Really look at what is bright and
beautiful around you. Stare at a star. Squint
your eyes to see how different they look when
you do. Listen to the music you are hearing —
hear the instruments, the beauty of the voices,
feel the feelings it brings. Find something
warm to hold in your heart. Your child’s
laughter. The kind feeling you have when you
pay for the person’s coffee behind you in the
drive through coffee shop. A casual thank you
received.
talk about, work for?
Time to make a plan. Remember, if you don’t
write it down, chances are it won’t
happen. Decide specifically how you are going
to spend your time when you are not working
or caring for family. You owe this to yourself.
Your heart needs a break from its sadness.
What will you think about? What will you
focus on? It’s okay to give yourself a little
time to grieve what was and how you wish it
were. Sometime when you are alone, write
those feelings down in your journal or express
them in some other creative way original to
you like writing a song, painting, or
composing a poem. Then close your book or
purposely set your project aside.
Go from there, determined to focus on one
moment at a time today, every day.
If you are with family, observe what it is that
you really do love about them. If you are with
friends, do the same. Be there entirely in the
present — not in the past, not in the
future. Really look at what is bright and
beautiful around you. Stare at a star. Squint
your eyes to see how different they look when
you do. Listen to the music you are hearing —
hear the instruments, the beauty of the voices,
feel the feelings it brings. Find something
warm to hold in your heart. Your child’s
laughter. The kind feeling you have when you
pay for the person’s coffee behind you in the
drive through coffee shop. A casual thank you
received.
9. Allow your heart to dream again. Put it out
there by asking specifically for what you want
in love.
there by asking specifically for what you want
in love.
Take some time to dream. Divorce may have
broken your heart and you may think that it
has left you as damaged goods. You may
think that love is too scary to try again or
that there are no more good men or women
out there.
broken your heart and you may think that it
has left you as damaged goods. You may
think that love is too scary to try again or
that there are no more good men or women
out there.
But you are wrong! Someone is searching for
you, waiting to love and be loved by you. So
find a picture that represents where you would
like to be a year from now. Do you want to be
in love? Do you want to live in a new place?
Do you want to be smiling? Begin to write
down what you want. Start to learn about
what a good relationship truly looks like. Dream it!
you, waiting to love and be loved by you. So
find a picture that represents where you would
like to be a year from now. Do you want to be
in love? Do you want to live in a new place?
Do you want to be smiling? Begin to write
down what you want. Start to learn about
what a good relationship truly looks like. Dream it!
0 Comment "9 Ways to Prepare Your Heart for a New Love"
Post a Comment